The Story: April 2011

Saturday, April 30, 2011

My Day

Hi, readers. I just came back home. I went to Sun Plaza just now. Well, my daddy didn't let me go, but my mom did. Hehe. I went there with my younger brother, Vilkent Bradley Lim. He is so cute yet handsome. We talked so many things today. I don't understand, he's just 6 years old, but he is the only one who can understand me well,very well, more than anyone. He's so kind to me. He'll get angry if I use sexy dress, he'll pull me out from a shop when there are bad guys staring at me, he'll get angry if I keep BBM-ing anyone, he'll cry if I tell him I will continue my study in Singapore, he'll get jealous when I give more attentions to others, he'll give me a kiss when I fall asleep on his bed, he'll close the door and hug me if people make noises in front of my room, just like me, he hates noises. He'll give and do anything I want, he never hates me although sometimes I blame at him for no reasons, yes, my mood is unforgivable I know. He'll say sorry when he did sth wrong to me or even sometimes, I'm the one who did sth wrong to him, he'll still do that. He'll hold my hands when I feel cold or unwell. He's a very good boy, isn't he? He is the one who will never say NO when I need him. He's the one who can sit with me at the cafe and having cups of coffee together. He's the one who can't see my tears falling down. He's just, my everything. I teach him good things these longs; to be a good humble romantic guy, believing in God, loving his family, having good behavior, avoiding bad guys at school, etc. I just wish, he could be a good guy in the future. I also teach him not to believe any girls instead of me, my sister, and mom. I know this sounds too much, but I just want no one hurts him later. Just If, he's older than me, so I'm not the eldest child in this family, I'll be very happy then. At least, I have a good charming older brother who I can talk to when I have problems instead of solving everything myself like now. Or, how happy I am if he's from another family but he is mine, my bf. I still remember, a week before my birthday, he asked me what I want for my birthday, and I said I want that "blue doll". Suddenly, on my birthday he cried loudly and hugged me, then he said "Sorry, I don't buy any present for you today. No one wants to take me to Sun, and I don't have enough money to buy for you that doll. I feel so sad for I can 't buy anything for you. But I promise, I'll buy for you lots of presents someday, when I have lotta money, and I'll let you choose and buy anything you want that day. I promise. Happy Birthday..." You know what, I never teach him to be this kind to me, but I should be grateful for God has given me such a lovely brother like him. I love him more than anything. He's my only reason why it's so hard for me to leave this town. Who will spare his time for accompanying me just for a cup of coffee? Who will take care of him when his friends did sth bad to him at school? Who will buy him breakfast for him when there's nothing to eat at home? Who will help him to do art projects from school? Who will hold my hands and give me hugs or kisses when it's needed?

WHO??

I don't know why, but these days I keep imagining how If I lost everyone in my life. sigh. Why life is so complicated. sigh sigh. Ok, here are some photos to share:

Vilkent loves Vero

ok, talk to you later people.

With love,

Veronica Lim

Hello readers, how's your day? Great?

This morning, I gave someone all of my stuffs. I didn't mean to do so honestly, If I could choose, I'll choose to keep them as mine forever, but all of them will just make me harder to forget everything when I know I must to. I loved them, I kept them well, I checked them everyday, That's why it's sssooooo killing me inside when I should be the one who wrapped them. So, I took a stupid decision to give them to someone, maybe someday, they will find and get a new better owner, or just come back to me instead bcs nobody get them cleaned (haha), but whatever it will be later, I put a special EXCEPTION for this!

Look, he's sooo fat and pink! *melting* haha. Too cute to be true. I don't know whether I'm crazy or not, I never play dolls since I was a child, for I'm not that cutie little girls who love to play barbie or dolls. I play robots and watch power rangers, I even take Karate class when I was 6. O.o" But this one is just, well, I don't know, I bathe him routinely, sleep with him every night, and for God sake, he smells like me, hehe. I think that's why I couldn't give him to anyone else. My heart protested when I was finding ideas to wrap this for you. So, sorry. But but, don't worry, you can ask and take everything u want, I'll give u anything, but seriously NOT this one. He belongs to me, I'll give him to NO ONE. New owner? Wogh, don't dream. I'm really sorry for that.:(

Anyway, I'm craving for Starbucks.

my favorite

I planned to have a cup of CARAMEL FRAPPUCINO and some cakes with my brother at Sun, but well, for we are the only "coffee lover" at this house, my dad told me not to drink so much coffee and told me to stay at home, sleep. It sounds tragic, but, Ok dad, I know you do that for my good. You're still the best dad ever. I love you. Mwuaahh! However, as the result, my brother "ngambek" and keeps saying that I don't love him. Oh my, I love you brother, more than anyone did, but what to do?? I wish i were allowed to drive, though I know driving is such a tiring thing to do and I'm not really excited in it. I don't wanna kill anyone, yet being killed by someone. haha.

"What are you doing right there?". How much I wish I could ask this to him or at least being asked. I miss him so badly, But just forget, now he's too busy spending his time with his friends and working so hard for what he wants to do for his family, I understand and I'm really happy for that. I just try to think more realistic than before. This is life, and I'll be so stupid if I keep crying every time, every night, when maybe he sleeps, eats very well and was having fun right there. Just make it like this, when you are happy there, I get doubled happiness right here.

I just wanna spend the rest of my time at home town well. Some months left, and I really want to have good memories here. I believe, God is here, beside me, and hey God, if you read my blog, please tell me what to do next, ok.

"Things that belong to you will go nowhere, they will come back to you in the time they want to"

I don't sure whether things I lost will come back or not someday, but IF not, at least it remains memories and stories that I could have for my own. Good afternoon, people.

With love,

Veronica Lim

Friday, April 29, 2011

UNDERSTANDING

Hello, it is raining heavily right here and it makes conditions even worse. I don't know what to do instead of crying, and I don't believe I'm still crying when I typed this. Everyone seems so cruel to me these days. Mom, dad, you, another you, or anyone, though sometimes I look strong in front of you, that doesn't mean I'm that strong. Though sometimes, I just do everything you tell me to do, this or that, doesn't mean I'm happy with that. Though I'm the eldest child in this family, doesn't mean I have to do anything. When sometimes I lost my mood and don't speak even a word, please don't complain. That time, I'm trying to solve my problems MYSELF, and bottle up my mood so I can put a smile when I'm standing inf ront of you. And people, please stop yelling at me. I really hate this. I know sometimes you people don't mean to do so, but loudly tuned voice could mess my mood and I will cry behind you. I hate noises, you must know that. I'm just... I.. I'm tired. Really. I try and learn to be a better one for you people, I try to understand, I don't wanna hurt you. I've been trying so hard. Really hard. But why, you people can't understand. Well, tell you, I'm NOT a girl who can act like nothing's happened when actually something does. I'm not a girl who can sit and tell all of my problems to you, I'm not a girl who has best friend(s) to hang out with anywhere for I know, it's really hard to find the real friends. I'm not a girl who can tell nice things to or about you just because I want sth from you. I'm not a girl who prefers spending my time in front of computer just to chat anything on MSN. I'm not a girl who will just keep quiet when you people blame me for no reasons. I'm not a girl who cares what people say about me as long as I did nothing wrong to them. I'm not a girl who prefers spending my money for no reasons, don't think that I'm a good money-spender when I shopped, you don't even know whose money I'm using. I'm also not a girl who will buy sth for my bf with my parents' money. That's so not me. I'm not a girl who will hate you forever when you did sth bad to me. I forgive, but talk less to you. I'm not a girl who will ask for sth you can't do for me. It's different if you can do, but you don't put any efforts to do so. I'm selfish, I'm sensitive, but I never mean to hurt people. I talk roughly when I'm angry, but what comes out from my mouth sometimes are the truth; most of them.

I'm just a girl, who needs a little understanding from all of you. Sometimes I can't directly tell you what I want for I put a little hope, you can find out what I want, yourselves, and I just hate people who will just give me lotta reasons and think what they did were right. And sometimes, I hate you for you can do everything, sacrifice anything, your time, lots of your time for others when you always have tons of reasons if I'm the one who asked you to. Sigh.

So, people, I ask for nothing, just PLEASE, understand...

XoXo,

Veronica Lim

Thursday, April 28, 2011

BREATHE

Haloha, Happy Friday people. I got a very weird dream last night, and yes, for me that was such a night-mare. I don't really remember about it, but I believed I was at a park. Hey, just realized, most of my dreams took place at the park! HAHA! I'm not going to tell what my dream was about, I wanna keep it for myself.

Anw, I got very touching SMS(s) last night from someone, I wish i could type it here, but well, that's too "sweet" to be true. Too much if I type it here. This "someone" has made me realize, there are many types of man; coward, liar, good story-maker, scoundrel, loser, traitor, trickster, bullshitter, sycophant, and many more. In just a click, I realized, I've got that one these long. Call me stupid, call me crazy, call me anything, I don't mind. I'm just blinded. I should have listened to my MP from the beginning. At least I know, they are right though it's too late already. Then what? Life must go on, doesn't it? I had tried my best last night and unfortunately, "types" were hard to be changed. sigh. I hate stupid nonsense reasons, I hate everything. Just stop pissing me off like this!

Someone asked me on formspring "If you could change one thing that happened last year what would it be?", without thinking any longer, i answered "My decision". No one is wrong, this is just my fault. My wrong decision last year brings me to this condition. However, just forget about that. As long as he is happy enough, I'm happy. Sorry God if I keep complaining and regretting things instead of being grateful for what You have given to me. *takingadeepdeepbreathe*. One more, in the time I'm writing this, and anytime you read this, you should know that you are forgiven.